Family Gatherings - Celebration or Chaos?

We know many of you have a big family gathering planned soon. You’ve most likely just spent days cleaning and cooking in preparation for the celebration. You are excited, exhausted, and a little worried. Will your mom hover over you while you prepare the meal, telling you everything you are doing wrong? Will Grandma hound your thirty-something sister incessantly about when she will marry and have a baby? Will your dad insist on carving the ham while waving around the carving knife in front of your new husband? Will Uncle Billy drink too much and tell Aunt Martha the reason she never married is because she looks like the rear end of a buffalo? What do you do outside of hiring a family therapist or a bouncer to be in attendance? We have a few hints and tips that just may help keep the peace.

Family members who try to help by telling you where you are going wrong usually mean well, especially moms and dads. If the torch has passed to you to host the holiday festivities mom and dad may be feeling a little left out or useless. This could be the underlying cause of their well meant yet unwanted “help”. Let them be helpful. Think about it beforehand; and put them in charge of a task that will keep them out of the kitchen. Ask dad to serve the drinks; and mom to set the table in the dining room.

One of our best helpful hints is that some topics should be avoided like the plague such as politics and religion. However, if someone does tread into these waters and a heated discussion arises; try not to take sides. If asked your opinion, sidestep. An answer like “I’m much too busy enjoying my meal to voice an opinion on that right now” can diffuse the situation by bringing the involved parties minds back to the meal.

 No matter how hard you try to keep some family members from going at it; there seems to always be those two cousins who just can’t seem to stand each other. The best thing to do is keep them apart. Seat them on opposite ends of the dinner table. Put them in separate rooms if possible. If they still seek each other out so that they can have their annual argument, then so be it. Just go with the flow. Unless they try to draw everyone into their drama or start to throw punches let them be.

Use the shock factor. If you’ve gently tried to direct a conversation gone wrong into another more uncontroversial area and nothing seems to work, blow them out of the water by asking if they had sex this morning. If that doesn’t work, lie. Yes, we said lie. Say “did you know Aunt Martha is having an affair with a man half her age?” Even though you know it’s a lie you will get everyone’s attention; and the conversation will move in a different direction.

Probably our best tip of all is to use humor. Laughter helps everyone relax and have a good time. That is what it’s all about, isn’t it? Whenever you sense that a discussion is headed in the wrong direction, try to inject some humor. Most families have funny stories that make everyone laugh. Remember the time Holly fell in the creek; or when we were chased by killer bees at the fair? Trust me, it was funny! There’s nothing wrong with planning ahead and having some stories or jokes in reserve.

If you’ve tried all our hints and tips and mayhem still breaks out, grab a glass of wine, pull up a comfy chair, sit back, and enjoy the show. There’s always next year, right?